The Safe and Secure Path

This past week has been filled with a LOT of tears. A LOT of moments where I'm freaking out to my mom. A LOT of crying on my bathroom floor during my prayers.

Tears from worrying that I'm going to FAIL. Freaking out because I FEAR disappointing people. Crying because I'm in AWE of how much God loves me.

Yep. In the past week as I have felt scared and insecure about this giant leap of faith I took, I have been reminded over and over that I took that leap WITH God.

This wasn't me, alone, deciding to uproot my life, take a giant pay cut, change to a commute on the freeway, go from knowing everything to knowing nothing; I would NEVER have made this decision on my own. NOPE. I LOVED having a secure life, with a great paycheck and a boss who let me take off time whenever I wanted. NOPE. This was all God.

pc: rwhetstone

I wrote a blog several months ago about God taking me down the most impossible route to prove that NOTHING is impossible for Him, and I have been reminded of that over and over again this past week.

Where I would have chosen what I considered to be the safe and secure path in life, God has made me very aware that EVERY path with Him is the safe and secure path, if I'm willing to TRUST Him.

Trust Him that it will all work out. Trust that this is just the first step in a new direction. Trust that I don't need to be perfect to receive help from Him. Trust that God loves me.

Readers, I'm quite imperfect. I've said this a MILLION times, and I'll say it a million more times, but I really have a LOT of flaws, as we all do. And I beat myself up about them a LOT. And I freak out about them a LOT. And this past week I keep being reminded that even with all those mortal flaws, God is STILL willing to help me be the best that I can be.

I have been overwhelmed with how much LOVE I have felt from all my friends, family, roommates, and former coworkers during this whole experience, but that is NOTHING compared to how much love I have felt from GOD.

And maybe that's where the majority of the tears are coming from - that fear of disappointing God, but also the humility I have felt as I've realized that God doesn't care that I might fail; He knows better than me, and knows what can happen if we work together on this. He sees my potential and my dreams and loves me so much He's taking me down the most impossible route. He loves me that much that He's willing to work hard for me to feel confident in my life decisions, even when it literally doesn't make any sense in my mind.