Remember How Loved You Are

The Celtics played the Nuggets on Monday night, which was huge for me because Isaiah Thomas - MY IT - was back in Boston. We played a tribute video for him, and of course I cried. I miss him. I miss his energy. I miss how much he loved Boston and how much Boston loved him. I miss the 4th quarter craziness he always gave us. I miss his willingness to sacrifice it all for the team. A big reason I'm a Celtics fan is because of him, and I'm so grateful we had him for the time we did; we needed him; I needed him.

After the game, he was interviewed and said it felt so great to feel all that love; he needed to feel that love again. He has had a rough go since the 2017 playoffs - if you don't remember, it's the one where his sister was killed in a car accident, he lost a tooth, and yes, that hip injury that he battled on and off for the next couple of seasons occurred. He has been traded twice, and finally signed a 1-year contract with the Nuggets this past summer, which just seems awful, considering all he did for my team. After seemingly having it all, life has pushed him back to the bottom, once again, and he has had to fight and overcome every negative comment about him never being great again.

What the heck, right?

He already had to fight from the bottom. He already had to prove his worth. He already was giving more than he should. And yet, even with all that effort and sacrifice, life just kept getting harder.

Do any of you ever feel like that, Readers? Like you've worked so hard to get where you are, and then life decides to to push you down again? And then, not only is life pushing you down, but the world is telling you you aren't good enough? You can't be better? You won't ever be as good as you were before. Or maybe you're the one pulling yourself down. Maybe you're telling yourself you aren't good enough, or that you will just keep failing, or that you'll never measure up.

I've recently been reading this book, Even This, by Emily Freeman, and I love it. As I've been reading it I can't help but think that I've been through the same paths as she has. Here's a passage from the part of the book I read this morning:

"You remember those things on my to-do list before my prayer on the beach? The ones I had been praying about for forever? They didn't simply not happen, as if He hadn't heard me; instead the exact opposite of what I had been asking for came to pass. My life began unraveling right before my eyes. The weight of it rested heavy on my heart. It brought back all the questions of my soul, and maybe I didn't understand God after all. Instead of seeing a change for the better, it seemed as if every venture in my life had taken a turn for the worse. God didn't just ignore the to-do list; He wiped the to-do list clean. He erased all of it.
Perhaps He wanted a fresh start." (Even This, Emily Freeman, 2017)

Hmmm

As I've been reflecting on that, I've thought about how much God must love me because my life has been exactly opposite of how I planned it. For every prayer of understanding I've begged for, I've been given confusing direction, or even at times unwanted revelation.

Don't go to law school

Don't serve a mission

Move to Salt Lake City

Stop working in the temple

Those were unwanted.

It's time to go through the temple; you're ready

A job is being prepared for you

Forgive; you can't hold a grudge very well

You need to start working in the temple

Those were all wanted. And more. Some of the best decisions of my life have been given to me because I listened to not only the good revelations I wanted, but also the ones I wasn't ready to hear. Gosh, I'm grateful for the times when I have received revelation. 

But, through all of it, life has been hard. I have struggled. I have cried, and begged for a different life. And then, when morning came, I got back up and moved forward, knowing that I wasn't alone, even when I felt alone. Knowing that God has a plan for me even when it was opposite what I wanted. Knowing that I could progress, even when others around me felt that I couldn't. Knowing that what I wanted was probably opposite of what the Lord has in store for me. 

Something I have learned from some of the worst trials has been what Isaiah Thomas talked about after his game against the Celtics last Monday - feeling loved makes all the difference. Sometimes we're going through the worst times, and all we need is to feel loved. Didn't the Beatles teach us that? Or, better yet, didn't Christ teach us that? Even when we're imperfect and struggling, we can still be loved. Even when we feel unlovable, we are still loved. How much better would life be if we had a crowd cheering for us every step of the way? Every time we felt down? Every time life took a bad turn? Wouldn't it be something if we tried harder as people to love those around us, even when they aren't living life how we think they should? Life is hard enough without having to fight to be loved by those around us. 

I've been so blessed over the years to become friends with the greatest of the greats, and I am so glad I have you all in my life. I could never have gotten through some of those really dark days without all of you. Keep loving, keep fighting, keep being amazing. Remember how loved you are. Remember that the widow's mite of love you give to others can be a mountain of love on their side.