I Am Not Enough On My Own

I've spent a LOT of time writing about my imperfections for the past 10+ years. It's something that weighs on me constantly, but has helped solidify my testimony in my Savior, Jesus Christ. Because of Him, my imperfections will not result in a loss of eternal blessings. Because of Him, I can become perfect EVENTUALLY - meaning, no more anxiety, no more awkwardness, no more shyness, no more health issues or worry that I'll pass out when medical issues are discussed. Just being WHOLE. I cannot wait. My imperfections remind me that I NEED a Savior - I am not enough on my own. I need His Atonement and His love to carry me forward. I need the knowledge and the hope that comes from the Plan of Happiness - that we will all die but then LIVE AGAIN. 

And not just as we are now.

Because of our Savior and His Atonement, we will be BETTER.

PERFECT. 

EXALTED.

JUST LIKE GOD.

How grateful I am for that knowledge. 

One of the biggest lessons I've learned this past year in law school adds the same amount of strength to my testimony as my acknowledgment of my imperfections: You are all really imperfect, too. 

Yep. 

It's not just me. 

I know, sometimes it feels that way. Sometimes when I would be crying on my bathroom floor back home I would wonder if I was the only one that cried that much. I wondered if I was the only one who constantly had to fight with her mind to tell herself she was good enough to do something - to take a chance on herself. I would wonder if people would judge me if I showed my weaknesses in front of them - "Oh, thank goodness I'm not a disaster like Cassandra; I have no idea how she functions. She's a mess." 

This past year as I have studied case after case of people knowingly making bad choices, negligently causing harm, or simply misunderstanding the expectations set on them, I have grown to love God's Plan of Salvation even more. 

Because, let's be real - I LOVE you guys. 

A TON. 

I would do anything for my friends, and I have relied and depended and grown from all of you in ways I couldn't on my own. 

BUT, as much as I love all of you, you're as imperfect as I am. We - none of us - can achieve our greatest potential without our Savior. 

None of us. 

Not if you tried being the best you can your entire life. 

Not if you visited the best doctors or lawyers or philosophers in the world. 

We, human beings, are mortal, which means we're imperfect. We can't be exalted on our own. We NEED Jesus. Not just in a "please comfort me, I'm stressed with life" kind of way. No. We NEED Him to progress. 

To achieve our greatest dreams. 

To be forgiven of our sins. 

To conquer death. 

Without Christ, we would not be resurrected. Without Christ, our bad days would be forever. Without Christ, our families would be separated eternally. 

The more I study the law, the more I'm grateful my eternal exaltation does not depend on my fellow human beings. The more I study the law, the more grateful I am for a loving Heavenly Father who came up with the perfect Plan of Happiness - the Plan that entails a PERFECT being atoning for my sins. The perfect Plan that allows for those bad days to end, and those anxiety filled moments to be just that - moments. Not eternity. Not forever. 

Readers, I haven't had the energy to write something non-law related since school started, but I felt the overwhelming need to write this today. Easter. Because THIS is truth: Christ lives. He died, then rose again. He took upon Himself the sins of the world. He is all loving, all forgiving, all GOODNESS. He loves you even when you don't know or acknowledge that He exists. My heart is so full as I reflect on my Savior and everything he has done for all of us imperfect beings. 

"He is not here, for He is risen." Because of Him, death is not the end. Because of Him, life has meaning. Because of Him, I can be with mi familia forever. Because of Him, my worst days are just that - days; not eternity. Because of Him, I have seen more potential in myself than I ever would have on my own. Because of Him, I have felt loved even when I have felt alone. I am SO grateful for my Savior. I am so grateful for God's perfect Plan of Happiness for us. I am so grateful for a loving Savior whom I can depend on; who will never let me down or abandon me. My heart is so full of joy as I reflect on my Savior and His Atonement. I cannot imagine life without Him. He lives! Happy Easter!