Through the Good and the Bad

It's interesting to look back on the last year of my life and not even recognize who I was prior to April 16, 2019. It's crazy to see how much has changed this past year. How much I've grown; how much I've seen others grow. 

I remember shortly after Beryl's death, checking in on a good friend, Dan Ricks. 

*Text Message Conversation April 23, 2019*

C: Hey Dan! I've been thinking about you all morning. How are you holding up, for real? 

D: I'm doing fine. How about yourself? I've dealt with a death in the family before. So that makes things a bit easier. Thanks for asking. 

C: I've definitely never dealt with a friends death like this, so it's been rough. I'm having a pretty good day, tho. This might be the best day since all this began, so that's nice. Are you sure you're ok? Our place is always open for you to come talk, if you need anything. 

This is how most conversations went last April / May. We were just checking in, making sure everyone was surviving. Those were dark days of sleepless nights, gut wrenching prayers, and more conversations about the Plan of Salvation than I think I'd had my entire life. 

And now, here we are a year later, in a similarly scary situation, just trying to survive. And I'm reflecting on those conversations I had last Spring, and particularly the above one - "I've dealt with ____ before, so that makes things a bit easier." 

I've dealt with tragedy before, so that makes me want to reach out to others more and make sure they're doing ok. 

I've struggled with anxiety before, so I can give some tips and tricks on how to remain calm during this chaotic time we're living. 

I've felt so much pain before I couldn't sleep, which makes me pray more and build my relationship with my Savior. 

My Savior. 

That's who has gotten me through all of life's heartbreaks and disappointments, as well as joys and accomplishments. Because, Reader, Christ is there through the good and the bad.

This morning while studying the scriptures, I was reminded that Christ knows all our pains - hunger, thirst, temptations, heartaches, fears, loneliness, etc. He has experienced it all. 

Last year, shortly after Beryl's death, a group of us met with our institute teacher to discuss death. We didn't know how to process what had happened, and had a lot of questions about the Plan of Salvation that we had never really contemplated before. I remember we discussed how God can use what we give Him - a broken heart, a scared prayer, a desire to change - and create something for our GOOD. 

I've been thinking a lot about that conversation during this pandemic. How Christ can take anything - even a world wide pandemic - and create something GOOD out of it. How He can call on the world for a Fast and the world answers - those from all faiths and beliefs unite and turn to God to work a miracle. How our hearts are softened again so we're looking out for each other instead of caught up in our next trip or the next activity we have going on - doing true ministering. 

I've been thinking a lot about how, because Beryl died last year, I now have a solid group of friends who are constantly checking in on me during this pandemic. 

#mysupportgroup

How we've gone through something hard before, and that makes this a bit easier. Not EASY; no. Not even a little bit. But, knowing that Christ is there with us, through this whole mess, and that someday the chaos and uncertainty will be lifted and we will be able to live life as normal human beings again; that brings peace. 

I'm so grateful for my Savior - that He died and rose again and that because of that it will all work out. Happy Easter, Readers! Christ lives!