How Far I've Come
10 years, Readers. It's my 10 year anniversary of graduating from high school this month. Oh my gosh. Where has the time gone?
The class song of my graduating class was "How Far We've Come" by Matchbox 20. I remember thinking it was such a weird pick at the time, but then I heard what everyone else picked and felt much better about it. I guess right now I'm thinking about how far I've come since then.
It's kind of weird to think that it was only ten years ago that I was about to embark on this journey that I'm on. I was just starting to make life decisions, and thinking I knew what was in store. I thought I had complete control of life. I was confident about my future.
When I graduated from high school I created a ten year plan which included graduating from college, serving a mission, getting a masters in history, and graduating from law school by the time I was 30. I'm 28, and I've currently only checked one of those things off my list. Why did I not follow through on all those plans, you ask? Gosh... I still ask myself those questions to this day. I think the answer that I have come to terms with is just this: Life happens.
A few weeks ago I was watching game 5 of the Celtics v 76ers game, and in the last 20 seconds, as we were about to win that series, one of my friends turned to me and said "Cassandra, this win was so much better because of all the adversity we had getting here. It wouldn't be as fulfilling if we had won by 20." He was right. The win was so great BECAUSE of how much we fought to get there.
This past weekend was game 7 of the Eastern Conference finals, and my Celtics fell to the great LeBron James. To say I am sad would be an understatement. In the postgame report, a reporter asked Brad Stevens what he told the guys in the locker room, and Coach Brad responded with this: "I talked about the pain is part of the path."
Ok, Coach Brad, do you want to come speak at our ward camp out fireside in August? Or maybe my friend should come speak? Because, really, that's the lesson that I have constantly been re-learning over the past ten years, and the one that has held me closest to Christ.
The pain is part of the path. The adversity is what makes the win so great.
The pain of homesickness from my college days. The pain of relationships not working out. The pain of bad roommates. The pain of not having any money to do anything. The pain of no sleep as I struggled to balance two jobs and 16 credits. The pain of watching friends leave. The pain of graduating and not knowing what to do with my life. The pain of moving to Salt Lake and not having any friends. The pain of an awful job. The pain of a boring job. The pain of realizing that my life was not going how I wanted it to go. The pain of watching my dad get sicker and sicker. The pain of feeling lonely. The physical pain from running. I mean.... Readers. There has been quite a bit of pain over the past ten years.
BUT
With that pain and adversity came the lessons of peace. The comfort of the temple. The joy of new friends. The courage to try new things. The fun of great roommates. The success in the workplace. The random trips home. The confidence in Christ and His plan for me.
I have grown so much in the past ten years, Readers. I have had some really hard times - some of which were brought on by my own foolish choices, and some that just came because I'm mortal and it's the only way I can progress. I've learned a lot about myself, and who I am - strong willed, driven, opinionated, passionate, willing to go the extra mile, flexible, anxious, stressed, kind, loving.... to name a few. I've also learned a lot about what I want in life - to help others see their potential, to find joy, to help those in need. I've learned that I'm really good at some things - singing, reading late in the night, laughing, organizing, complimenting people. I've learned that I'm not so good at other things - playing sports, dancing, flirting with boys, running fast. I've learned what being a true friend is, and how hard work can allow one to progress in a job I never thought I'd be a part of. I've learned about the power of forgiveness, and to not judge a book by its cover. I've learned to see the good in everyone, and to find joy in the hardest of times.
But, I only learned these lessons because of the pain that came first. Because of the failures and the missed opportunities and the adversity. Because of the regrets and not being ready for the hard things. Because of those times when the odds were against me. I have learned the hardest lessons from the deepest pain, and in those lessons came the strongest version of me.
How far have I come, Readers? It seems a lifetime, sometimes. Other times I get frustrated that I'm still not as good as I would like to be. However, I know there will be more pain. I know there will be more trials and adversity. I know there will be more life lessons. Thank goodness for those life lessons; the ones that have brought me to my knees in sorrow, but have lifted me with hope and joy in the aftermath. Thank goodness for that pain, right Readers? We wouldn't be as strong and resilient as we are without it.
I'm definitely not where I thought I would be at this point in my life. Gosh, how many times am I going to write that??? But, really, I am happy with WHO I am, and the accomplishments I have made. I am happy with the path that I have walked down; albeit a little jagged, or muddy along the way. I really am happy with how far I've come.
The class song of my graduating class was "How Far We've Come" by Matchbox 20. I remember thinking it was such a weird pick at the time, but then I heard what everyone else picked and felt much better about it. I guess right now I'm thinking about how far I've come since then.
It's kind of weird to think that it was only ten years ago that I was about to embark on this journey that I'm on. I was just starting to make life decisions, and thinking I knew what was in store. I thought I had complete control of life. I was confident about my future.
When I graduated from high school I created a ten year plan which included graduating from college, serving a mission, getting a masters in history, and graduating from law school by the time I was 30. I'm 28, and I've currently only checked one of those things off my list. Why did I not follow through on all those plans, you ask? Gosh... I still ask myself those questions to this day. I think the answer that I have come to terms with is just this: Life happens.
A few weeks ago I was watching game 5 of the Celtics v 76ers game, and in the last 20 seconds, as we were about to win that series, one of my friends turned to me and said "Cassandra, this win was so much better because of all the adversity we had getting here. It wouldn't be as fulfilling if we had won by 20." He was right. The win was so great BECAUSE of how much we fought to get there.
This past weekend was game 7 of the Eastern Conference finals, and my Celtics fell to the great LeBron James. To say I am sad would be an understatement. In the postgame report, a reporter asked Brad Stevens what he told the guys in the locker room, and Coach Brad responded with this: "I talked about the pain is part of the path."
Ok, Coach Brad, do you want to come speak at our ward camp out fireside in August? Or maybe my friend should come speak? Because, really, that's the lesson that I have constantly been re-learning over the past ten years, and the one that has held me closest to Christ.
The pain is part of the path. The adversity is what makes the win so great.
The pain of homesickness from my college days. The pain of relationships not working out. The pain of bad roommates. The pain of not having any money to do anything. The pain of no sleep as I struggled to balance two jobs and 16 credits. The pain of watching friends leave. The pain of graduating and not knowing what to do with my life. The pain of moving to Salt Lake and not having any friends. The pain of an awful job. The pain of a boring job. The pain of realizing that my life was not going how I wanted it to go. The pain of watching my dad get sicker and sicker. The pain of feeling lonely. The physical pain from running. I mean.... Readers. There has been quite a bit of pain over the past ten years.
BUT
With that pain and adversity came the lessons of peace. The comfort of the temple. The joy of new friends. The courage to try new things. The fun of great roommates. The success in the workplace. The random trips home. The confidence in Christ and His plan for me.
I have grown so much in the past ten years, Readers. I have had some really hard times - some of which were brought on by my own foolish choices, and some that just came because I'm mortal and it's the only way I can progress. I've learned a lot about myself, and who I am - strong willed, driven, opinionated, passionate, willing to go the extra mile, flexible, anxious, stressed, kind, loving.... to name a few. I've also learned a lot about what I want in life - to help others see their potential, to find joy, to help those in need. I've learned that I'm really good at some things - singing, reading late in the night, laughing, organizing, complimenting people. I've learned that I'm not so good at other things - playing sports, dancing, flirting with boys, running fast. I've learned what being a true friend is, and how hard work can allow one to progress in a job I never thought I'd be a part of. I've learned about the power of forgiveness, and to not judge a book by its cover. I've learned to see the good in everyone, and to find joy in the hardest of times.
But, I only learned these lessons because of the pain that came first. Because of the failures and the missed opportunities and the adversity. Because of the regrets and not being ready for the hard things. Because of those times when the odds were against me. I have learned the hardest lessons from the deepest pain, and in those lessons came the strongest version of me.
How far have I come, Readers? It seems a lifetime, sometimes. Other times I get frustrated that I'm still not as good as I would like to be. However, I know there will be more pain. I know there will be more trials and adversity. I know there will be more life lessons. Thank goodness for those life lessons; the ones that have brought me to my knees in sorrow, but have lifted me with hope and joy in the aftermath. Thank goodness for that pain, right Readers? We wouldn't be as strong and resilient as we are without it.
I'm definitely not where I thought I would be at this point in my life. Gosh, how many times am I going to write that??? But, really, I am happy with WHO I am, and the accomplishments I have made. I am happy with the path that I have walked down; albeit a little jagged, or muddy along the way. I really am happy with how far I've come.
Comments
Post a Comment