Life Lessons
It was the draft lottery pick in the NBA this week, and my beloved Celtics scored the 1st pick, due to a trade that they made back in 2013.
2013.
It's currently 2017, in case you missed that.
This means that 4 years ago Danny Ainge was making a trade that, yes has been beneficial to us previously, but has made history this year, with us being the top seed in the East AND the now top pick in the draft. He released a statement about his feelings regarding this pick, and it has really touched me:
"I think sitting here right now with the No. 1 pick in the draft, the answer is obviously yes [this shows the value of patience], and sitting in the Eastern Conference finals, the answer is obviously yes. I think that sometimes you need to be patient. It's hard for me to be patient. I like action. But we have a good group of guys around us.
My whole staff and ownership, we sit and calmly try to figure out what the best path is to take. We don't want to make any mistakes, and so far, we've been pretty good."
As I read that, and as I walked around town all proud in my Al Horford jersey, with a goofy smile on my face, feeling beyond on top of the world,
I started thinking about how much this relates to my life, in decisions that I've made and am waiting anxiously for the results to appear.
You know what I'm talking about, right, dear Readers?
Those moments when you feel inspired to do something, and then you do it, and you wonder why. Years go by, and you patiently wait for the answer to a prayer, or the understanding to why you received a prompting to do something, or you're working on fixing something in your life, and it seems like you haven't progressed at all, and you keep wondering if you will ever ... *sigh*.... EVER be better. Will you ever get good at that thing you're struggling with? Will you ever know the true impact of the decision you made?
A few weeks ago I announced that my last day as an ordinance worker in the Salt Lake temple was coming up, and how freaked out I was. Everyone keeps asking me what I'm going to be doing with my life now and I ... I have absolutely no idea.
No idea.
None.
Zip.
Zilch.
Zero.
I'm at a loss.
And .... my anxiety has spiked.
Surprise.
I knew that was going to be one of the repercussions. I mean, regardless of what change I make in my life, my anxiety spikes. It's one of those things that pops up and grasps me and doesn't let me go, no matter what I do to prepare. No matter the logical thoughts and the plans I make; it's a constant companion that goes off when certain triggers occur. Change is a HUGE trigger. And this change ... not working in the temple .... it is huge. I feel like a portion of my life has been taken from me, and I'm now trying to figure out who I am, and what I am even doing if I'm not serving as an ordinance worker. Do I even contribute to society anymore? Am I even living up to my full potential anymore? Am I still just as good, even though I'm not an ordinance worker? I know I felt prompted to do this; I know I felt that it was time to quit. I know this.
But.............
Why?????
Why was that the answer to a prayer when I was asking about something completely different? I didn't pray and ask if it was time to quit the temple; I was asking about how to get out of the rut that I'm in! This answer came unexpectedly, and quit confusingly, since it seemed to be going against what I was praying about. How could this be right? And yet, it has felt right. It has made sense.
AND it has brought on the anxiety, because I have no idea what to do with my Saturday's and YSA temple nights now.
I've had a lot of suggestions from a lot of people, including all the wonderful temple workers, other ysa's, my Bishop, and my amazing mother. Everyone seems to have all these ideas of why this was the answer, but I can't help but think that this is maybe one of those moments where the Lord wants to see if I'm willing to sacrifice one thing in order for Him to lead me down a path that will get me to the best thing. You know? That quarter of an inch change that starts small with the results, but 4 years down the road has you hundreds of miles away from where you were originally going. Sometimes the answers to our prayers take years to come because we have to do all the set up for the answer. Sometimes they take years to come because we have to learn to WANT what we were praying for. Sometimes we have to go through all the figurative blood, sweat, and tears in order to get to the part of our life where we actually can understand the answer, or are prepared for the answer.
Watching the Celtics games this season was a huge learning experience. We ended up top seed in the East, which was phenomenal! However, with every high on winning, there were the moments when we'd have a horrible game, or get destroyed by a team that should have had no impact on us whatsoever (Yes, Suns, I'm looking at you...). After each loss, a dear friend of mine who I love talking basketball with would talk me out of my sad mood with the same reminder:
"Cassandra," he'd say, "just remember - we have the Nets pick"
Or:
"It's ok; we have the Nets pick"
Or my personal favorite:
"Perspective - we have the Nets pick"
Eventually I started believing him. This pick would be a life changer! It was ok if we lost the next game, because we had the Nets pick from that trade we made FOUR years ago! Our patience would pay off in a big way.... and this past week, when we received the Nets No.1 draft pick, it did.
Sometimes we need the reminder that, yes, life is hard now, and yes, we don't know all the answers, but we have Christ on our side. The reminder that the sun will come out tomorrow, even when life seems impossibly hard, due to factors completely out of our control. The reminder that it's ok that we messed up, because we can repent and move forward with faith. Just as I was reminded that a loss was not the end of the world for the Celtics, I have also been reminded in my life that it's ok that I don't know why. It's ok to have questions. It's ok to wonder if I'm good enough, or if I'm living up to my potential. In the end, it's that perspective that has changed my life; that has allowed me to continue forward, as I'm making decisions, with patience, knowing that if I follow the Lord and remain faithful, not giving up part way, I will be blessed in the end.
I don't know why I am where I am in my life. I could give you so many life lessons that I have learned over the years; well, I guess I have documented most of them in this blog haha, so I don't need to give them to you again... but I don't know the why's of my life. I know how I got here, but I don't know why I'm still here. In my life I have learned so much to watch patiently as life unfolds in a better way than I could have ever fathomed. And who knows? Four years from now I could look back and say, "Thank goodness I made that one decision four years ago. It has changed my life. Thank goodness I was patient enough to see the results, instead of giving up half way and missing this amazing moment." Patience, people. It will all work out.
2013.
It's currently 2017, in case you missed that.
This means that 4 years ago Danny Ainge was making a trade that, yes has been beneficial to us previously, but has made history this year, with us being the top seed in the East AND the now top pick in the draft. He released a statement about his feelings regarding this pick, and it has really touched me:
"I think sitting here right now with the No. 1 pick in the draft, the answer is obviously yes [this shows the value of patience], and sitting in the Eastern Conference finals, the answer is obviously yes. I think that sometimes you need to be patient. It's hard for me to be patient. I like action. But we have a good group of guys around us.
My whole staff and ownership, we sit and calmly try to figure out what the best path is to take. We don't want to make any mistakes, and so far, we've been pretty good."
As I read that, and as I walked around town all proud in my Al Horford jersey, with a goofy smile on my face, feeling beyond on top of the world,
I started thinking about how much this relates to my life, in decisions that I've made and am waiting anxiously for the results to appear.
You know what I'm talking about, right, dear Readers?
Those moments when you feel inspired to do something, and then you do it, and you wonder why. Years go by, and you patiently wait for the answer to a prayer, or the understanding to why you received a prompting to do something, or you're working on fixing something in your life, and it seems like you haven't progressed at all, and you keep wondering if you will ever ... *sigh*.... EVER be better. Will you ever get good at that thing you're struggling with? Will you ever know the true impact of the decision you made?
A few weeks ago I announced that my last day as an ordinance worker in the Salt Lake temple was coming up, and how freaked out I was. Everyone keeps asking me what I'm going to be doing with my life now and I ... I have absolutely no idea.
No idea.
None.
Zip.
Zilch.
Zero.
I'm at a loss.
And .... my anxiety has spiked.
Surprise.
I knew that was going to be one of the repercussions. I mean, regardless of what change I make in my life, my anxiety spikes. It's one of those things that pops up and grasps me and doesn't let me go, no matter what I do to prepare. No matter the logical thoughts and the plans I make; it's a constant companion that goes off when certain triggers occur. Change is a HUGE trigger. And this change ... not working in the temple .... it is huge. I feel like a portion of my life has been taken from me, and I'm now trying to figure out who I am, and what I am even doing if I'm not serving as an ordinance worker. Do I even contribute to society anymore? Am I even living up to my full potential anymore? Am I still just as good, even though I'm not an ordinance worker? I know I felt prompted to do this; I know I felt that it was time to quit. I know this.
But.............
Why?????
Why was that the answer to a prayer when I was asking about something completely different? I didn't pray and ask if it was time to quit the temple; I was asking about how to get out of the rut that I'm in! This answer came unexpectedly, and quit confusingly, since it seemed to be going against what I was praying about. How could this be right? And yet, it has felt right. It has made sense.
AND it has brought on the anxiety, because I have no idea what to do with my Saturday's and YSA temple nights now.
I've had a lot of suggestions from a lot of people, including all the wonderful temple workers, other ysa's, my Bishop, and my amazing mother. Everyone seems to have all these ideas of why this was the answer, but I can't help but think that this is maybe one of those moments where the Lord wants to see if I'm willing to sacrifice one thing in order for Him to lead me down a path that will get me to the best thing. You know? That quarter of an inch change that starts small with the results, but 4 years down the road has you hundreds of miles away from where you were originally going. Sometimes the answers to our prayers take years to come because we have to do all the set up for the answer. Sometimes they take years to come because we have to learn to WANT what we were praying for. Sometimes we have to go through all the figurative blood, sweat, and tears in order to get to the part of our life where we actually can understand the answer, or are prepared for the answer.
Watching the Celtics games this season was a huge learning experience. We ended up top seed in the East, which was phenomenal! However, with every high on winning, there were the moments when we'd have a horrible game, or get destroyed by a team that should have had no impact on us whatsoever (Yes, Suns, I'm looking at you...). After each loss, a dear friend of mine who I love talking basketball with would talk me out of my sad mood with the same reminder:
"Cassandra," he'd say, "just remember - we have the Nets pick"
Or:
"It's ok; we have the Nets pick"
Or my personal favorite:
"Perspective - we have the Nets pick"
Eventually I started believing him. This pick would be a life changer! It was ok if we lost the next game, because we had the Nets pick from that trade we made FOUR years ago! Our patience would pay off in a big way.... and this past week, when we received the Nets No.1 draft pick, it did.
Sometimes we need the reminder that, yes, life is hard now, and yes, we don't know all the answers, but we have Christ on our side. The reminder that the sun will come out tomorrow, even when life seems impossibly hard, due to factors completely out of our control. The reminder that it's ok that we messed up, because we can repent and move forward with faith. Just as I was reminded that a loss was not the end of the world for the Celtics, I have also been reminded in my life that it's ok that I don't know why. It's ok to have questions. It's ok to wonder if I'm good enough, or if I'm living up to my potential. In the end, it's that perspective that has changed my life; that has allowed me to continue forward, as I'm making decisions, with patience, knowing that if I follow the Lord and remain faithful, not giving up part way, I will be blessed in the end.
I don't know why I am where I am in my life. I could give you so many life lessons that I have learned over the years; well, I guess I have documented most of them in this blog haha, so I don't need to give them to you again... but I don't know the why's of my life. I know how I got here, but I don't know why I'm still here. In my life I have learned so much to watch patiently as life unfolds in a better way than I could have ever fathomed. And who knows? Four years from now I could look back and say, "Thank goodness I made that one decision four years ago. It has changed my life. Thank goodness I was patient enough to see the results, instead of giving up half way and missing this amazing moment." Patience, people. It will all work out.
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