Patience is About Understanding God

I started growing my hair out a year ago. I had chopped it all off because it was so fried from the bleach I had put in it the previous summer, and I had finally gotten to the point where I could chop off all the rest of the fried hair and start over! However, that meant it would be really short. Knowing there was no way around getting my healthy hair back but to cut it all off, I proceeded to chop it off and put some red in it, to feel better about the short hair. I didn't put any layers in it, as I wasn't sure what I wanted it to look like once it all grew out. I actually really liked the short hair. It was fun, and easy to curl, and I thought it looked pretty cute on me.

I stopped dying my hair in January. That was a huge accomplishment for me. I started dying my hair in Fall of 2008 and the only time I've taken a break was in 2010, for about 6 months. I've now passed that record, and have gotten past the desire to dye it every other week, as my 19 year-old self was so anxious to do.

I started growing out my bangs in February. I decided I wanted to get my hair to a certain hairstyle, and that meant no more bangs, so with that realization, I stopped cutting them.... It's seemed like such a slow process. I constantly would pull my hair, hoping to make it grow faster - I still do, actually. I started taking prenatal vitamins to see if that would make it grow faster. I have had to go through the awkward hair length, both with just the hair, and the bangs. The bangs were the worst to grow out. I hated my hair for like two months straight as I waited for them to finally get to the place they are today.

One Year Ago

Today

As I look at my hair today, I love it. I still have 6-8 more inches to go before it's at the length I want it to be, and my bangs are still not all the way grown out, but at this point I'm so happy with my hair. The color has turned into this really cool brown ombre styled hair, and it's finally healthy again!

Now, I'm sure at this point you're saying to yourself, wow, Cassandra, that was a really boring story about growing out your hair...... nobody cares.... Are you trying to get compliments on your hair? Gosh, you're so vain.... a whole blog devoted to your hair....

But, that's not actually what this blog post is about. As I was thinking about how much my hair has grown in the past year, and the different steps I have taken to help it become healthy, and grow faster, and find direction in what I want it to look like once it's all grown out, I've been reminded of patience, and how it's not always this easy to measure the fruits of our faith. 

I know I've been talking a lot about patience the last few blog posts, and the posts on my Facebook page. It's because it's something I'm really striving to understand more. I've grown to realize patience doesn't just mean sitting there, waiting for life to happen. It doesn't mean that God is with holding blessings from you because you're not good enough to have them. Patience is about understanding God. It's about becoming like Him. 

Through patience, we discover the will of God, and what He wants us to become. He sees us in terms of eternity, not just in terms of 2015, and therefore wants so much more for us than that little promotion, the new car, that date with that cute boy, the move across the country to Connecticut.... He wants us to live up to our eternal potential and eventually become Gods just like Him! How could we get to that path by following our own desires? We can't! We must go to the Lord and ask Him what He wants us to become, and to understand the way He sees us! And yes, that could mean buying a new car, or getting that promotion, or moving across the country, but it could also mean being patient, and listening to what He wants me to learn now, and not next year. He knows how to get me to the end point of the game successfully; why not put all my trust in Him?!

How wonderful to have a loving Heavenly Father who has that perspective. He is all knowing; He is all loving. Elder Maxwell describes patience beautifully in a talk he gave:

"Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father. Actually, when we are unduly impatient, we are suggesting that we know what is best—better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than his. Either way we are questioning the reality of God’s omniscience, as if, as some seem to believe, God were on some sort of postdoctoral fellowship.

...

Sometimes that which we are doing is correct enough but simply needs to be persisted in—patiently—not for a minute or a moment but sometimes for years. Paul speaks of the marathon of life and how we must “run with patience the race that is set before us” (Heb. 12:1). Paul did not select the hundred-yard dash for his analogy!

...

Patience is not only a companion of faith but is also a friend to free agency. Inside our impatience there is sometimes an ugly reality: We are plainly irritated and inconvenienced by the need to make allowances for the free agency of others. In our impatience, which is not the same thing as divine discontent, we would override others, even though it is obvious that our individual differences and preferences are so irretrievably enmeshed with each other that the only resolution which preserves free agency is for us to be patient and long-suffering with each other."

I bleached my hair in March of 2013. A year ago, I was still dealing with the consequences of those actions, and therefore had to cut off my hair to get it healthy again. A year later, my hair has started taking life again. Give me another year, and my hair will be exactly where I want it. 3 years of work, to get where I could have been if I had not been distracted by the blonde hair I've always wanted! How like life is that? We get distracted, and then complain when we have to patiently work our way back to the main road. We spend so long complaining, we miss the lessons the Lord is trying to teach us along the way! 

Isn't patience wonderful? I've gotten to watch myself over the past year struggle with my hair length, color, and texture. I started down that path because I had made a decision the previous year to bleach my hair. I started over with my hair, and along the way, learned that for the first time in my life, I love my straight hair. I love the natural color coming out. I decided to get rid of bangs, and realized what a long and hard road it is to grow those out. I started taking vitamins, that not only are good for my hair, but for the rest of me too! I learned self control over dying my hair, which was really becoming quite the addiction. 

That's how the Lord works. He takes the simple things in our lives, and teaches us principles, that, if we aren't patient, won't even have a chance to grow. If even for a minute I lost sight of the end goal of my long, pretty, healthy hair, I would be back to square one, dying it, frying it, having bangs, and having to start over. President Uchtdorf said it beautifully:

"The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago; the second best time is now."

Be patient. Sometimes it's not so easy to see the fruits of your patience - it took me a year to see how much my hair had grown; it could take you years to more easily forgive, to more easily repent, to more easily pay your tithing. It doesn't matter how long it takes; it matters that you don't give up. Be patient. Remember that the Lord is in charge. He knows what's best for us, each of us. Don't let your timeline allow you to miss the lessons the Lord is trying to teach you with patience.