Life Might Seem Completely Out of Your Control
We had our ward Christmas party this past weekend, and since I'm in charge of activities, I asked the spiritual thought to be about a reflection of this past year, and how even when things didn't turn out how we wanted, life still had purpose and hope, because of Christ. I know. Super selfish of me to want a message that has been weighing on my mind all year shared with the entire ward. But, it's something I have needed a constant reminder of all year, and I figured other YSA's could benefit from that reminder. I sure have.
This year started out with the idea that I was going to just live life and not stress about the "what if's", and boy.... did I LIVE. My Facebook page is cluttered with all the adventures and fun times I've experienced this past year. My phone is constantly inundated with texts from all my loving friends, wanting to do this or that, teasing me about basketball, encouraging me in my endeavors; you guys are the greatest. I have been blessed with the greatest family, and the best-est of friends. You all uplift me, and inspire me to follow my dreams and be a better person. Thank you for helping me through my adventures in mortality. Thank you for taking random trips with me, visiting temples, staying up late, listening to me cry, talking me into asking boys on dates, reading my blogs, celebrating great moments with me; You guys all inspire me to be better.
You know that moment in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, when Indy has fallen down, and his father reaches for his hand to pull him back to safety, and he lets go of the desire to grab the goblet and grabs hold of his dad? You all have been Indy's dad to me. I have needed those hands, pulling me back from my heartbreak and insecurities. I can never thank you all enough for the smiles, the funny posts on Facebook, the encouraging quotes, the power to overcome trials - you're all far stronger than I ever have been, and I'm so grateful to have you in my life.
As I look back at this year, I can't help but think of all the tearing down and rebuilding the Lord had to do with me. I keep thinking I've hit my stride, and then He decides to rework me. Yes, this is the same blog I've written 50 million times, and here I am, again, sharing the same lesson about how we never get to live in comfort if we're progressing in the way the Lord wants us to. It's always an uphill fight, and it's always filled with obstacles; however, it also always consists in the Lord being there for us, and His Atonement, carrying us through.
I.... I have a lot of thoughts that I just wrote out and deleted because, I guess I don't like sharing everything with you, dear Readers. My dad's health, my anxiety, my dating life - those have been the big things that have weighed heavily on my mind this past year, and really.... they have torn me apart. I can write about the Celtics, and overcoming obstacles; I can write about where my life has ended up, and how it's not how it's "supposed" to have ended up; I can share the adventures I've had, or the temple experiences that have helped me grow closer to Christ. All of those things are great, BUT, that doesn't mean that my life is all happy and rainbows and butterflies all the time. I'm struggling every day. I struggle with not tearing up every five minutes over my dad, or when I hold a new baby, or when I see children running by, or when I think about how awkward I am.... *sigh*.... Mortality has been hard. I struggle with finding a balance of crying about it too much, or keeping it all locked inside, or laughing about the ridiculousness of the situation.
In my Sunday School lesson today, our teacher shared an experience his younger brother had, and it just really spoke to me. His younger brother has chronic pain, and went in for a procedure when he was younger and it didn't go right, and afterwards, as he was sitting there, recovering, he turned to his mom and made the connection that Jesus had felt that pain, and how grateful he was to know that someone out there understood EXACTLY how he felt. He wasn't alone.
That thought is what has gotten me through the hardest trials of my life. That knowledge that my Savior loves me so much and sacrificed so much for ME is what pushes me on. To know that I'm not ALONE. That's what gets me through the hardest of days.
Christ has taken all of our sins, and hardships, and disappointments upon Him. We are loved by Him, DESPITE our imperfections. He has seen our weaknesses, but he has also seen what we can become, if we hold fast to Him, and keep the commandments. Thank goodness for that. Thank goodness for a loving Savior who sees beyond my complaining and my lack of understanding, and keeps carrying me forward, sometimes kicking and screaming, but regardless, still forward. I am so grateful that at this time of year we get to focus so much on Christ, and the happiness that his birth brought to the world; however, I'm most grateful that we don't have to wait until Christmas every year to feel His peace and strength. He is real. He lives. His Atonement is available to all. Peace can come from turning our lives over to Him. He truly is the Prince of Peace. Of that I am certain. Merry Christmas, from my family to yours, and may you remember the true meaning of Christmas - even when life might seem completely out of your control. Christ is in control, and will never leave us alone in this journey of life.
This year started out with the idea that I was going to just live life and not stress about the "what if's", and boy.... did I LIVE. My Facebook page is cluttered with all the adventures and fun times I've experienced this past year. My phone is constantly inundated with texts from all my loving friends, wanting to do this or that, teasing me about basketball, encouraging me in my endeavors; you guys are the greatest. I have been blessed with the greatest family, and the best-est of friends. You all uplift me, and inspire me to follow my dreams and be a better person. Thank you for helping me through my adventures in mortality. Thank you for taking random trips with me, visiting temples, staying up late, listening to me cry, talking me into asking boys on dates, reading my blogs, celebrating great moments with me; You guys all inspire me to be better.
You know that moment in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, when Indy has fallen down, and his father reaches for his hand to pull him back to safety, and he lets go of the desire to grab the goblet and grabs hold of his dad? You all have been Indy's dad to me. I have needed those hands, pulling me back from my heartbreak and insecurities. I can never thank you all enough for the smiles, the funny posts on Facebook, the encouraging quotes, the power to overcome trials - you're all far stronger than I ever have been, and I'm so grateful to have you in my life.
As I look back at this year, I can't help but think of all the tearing down and rebuilding the Lord had to do with me. I keep thinking I've hit my stride, and then He decides to rework me. Yes, this is the same blog I've written 50 million times, and here I am, again, sharing the same lesson about how we never get to live in comfort if we're progressing in the way the Lord wants us to. It's always an uphill fight, and it's always filled with obstacles; however, it also always consists in the Lord being there for us, and His Atonement, carrying us through.
I.... I have a lot of thoughts that I just wrote out and deleted because, I guess I don't like sharing everything with you, dear Readers. My dad's health, my anxiety, my dating life - those have been the big things that have weighed heavily on my mind this past year, and really.... they have torn me apart. I can write about the Celtics, and overcoming obstacles; I can write about where my life has ended up, and how it's not how it's "supposed" to have ended up; I can share the adventures I've had, or the temple experiences that have helped me grow closer to Christ. All of those things are great, BUT, that doesn't mean that my life is all happy and rainbows and butterflies all the time. I'm struggling every day. I struggle with not tearing up every five minutes over my dad, or when I hold a new baby, or when I see children running by, or when I think about how awkward I am.... *sigh*.... Mortality has been hard. I struggle with finding a balance of crying about it too much, or keeping it all locked inside, or laughing about the ridiculousness of the situation.
In my Sunday School lesson today, our teacher shared an experience his younger brother had, and it just really spoke to me. His younger brother has chronic pain, and went in for a procedure when he was younger and it didn't go right, and afterwards, as he was sitting there, recovering, he turned to his mom and made the connection that Jesus had felt that pain, and how grateful he was to know that someone out there understood EXACTLY how he felt. He wasn't alone.
That thought is what has gotten me through the hardest trials of my life. That knowledge that my Savior loves me so much and sacrificed so much for ME is what pushes me on. To know that I'm not ALONE. That's what gets me through the hardest of days.
Christ has taken all of our sins, and hardships, and disappointments upon Him. We are loved by Him, DESPITE our imperfections. He has seen our weaknesses, but he has also seen what we can become, if we hold fast to Him, and keep the commandments. Thank goodness for that. Thank goodness for a loving Savior who sees beyond my complaining and my lack of understanding, and keeps carrying me forward, sometimes kicking and screaming, but regardless, still forward. I am so grateful that at this time of year we get to focus so much on Christ, and the happiness that his birth brought to the world; however, I'm most grateful that we don't have to wait until Christmas every year to feel His peace and strength. He is real. He lives. His Atonement is available to all. Peace can come from turning our lives over to Him. He truly is the Prince of Peace. Of that I am certain. Merry Christmas, from my family to yours, and may you remember the true meaning of Christmas - even when life might seem completely out of your control. Christ is in control, and will never leave us alone in this journey of life.
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