Things I Wish I'd Known
It was commencement yesterday! Ahh! I cannot believe it's here all over again. It's probably my favorite day in the office. We, the Registrar's Office, host commencement, so we get to guide the faculty and student's in. It was a little sad this year, because they had to pull rainy day plans, because of the rain, but still great! Pres. Eyring was there, receiving an award, and gave us great advice: "Education is not where you've been, it's what you do."
One reason I love commencement so much is because it gives me a minute to remember my own graduation, which is coming up on FOUR years this July! Four years as a college graduate. Where did the time go? How have I been graduated this long? Today really makes me reflect on the past almost four years and what I have completed since then. No need to bore you all with those details - obviously they're exciting and I've accomplished a lot (I mean, come on. It's me). But really, it makes me think. It makes me think about that girl, four years ago, freaking out about graduating, not sure which way to go, or what to do, or when to do it, or who to turn to.... all she knew was that she needed to move to Salt Lake. That's it. She felt so sure of Salt Lake that she moved there a month after graduating, with no job, no house to live in, and no family near by. It was insane. I think a lot about that girl, and all she would go through over the next four years, all allowing me to become... Me. And, as I'm sitting here, thinking about the past almost four years, I feel like I should give some advice to her; to that young, 21 year old, immature, scared girl. I want to give her counsel that would have been helpful to have all those years ago. Reader, I hope you don't think I think I know everything; I certainly don't. These are just things I wish I'd known as a recent college graduate.
1. Trust your Bishop. He's going to become one of your best friends over the next few years, and he will be there for almost all the biggest moments in your life - your melt downs, your heart breaks, you loss, your despair.... your joy, your promotions, your growth, your temple experiences. He will be there and will love you! It's going to be amazing, and you are going to make lifelong friends out of him and his wife. You'll probably have a spot of heaven next to each other in the next life, because he has become such a great mentor to you. But seriously, go to your Bishop! Talk to him! Let him know what's going on in your life! Don't be afraid to ask him for help, counsel, or a blessing.
2. Your dad is sick - he isn't going to get better - in fact, he's going to get worse. That is probably the hardest lesson you will learn. You will watch your parents move, and will see your dad's body break under that stress..... and it will hurt. It will hurt a lot. It will make you cry "why me!?" more times then you've ever done before. It will bring you to your knees, demanding more explanations than you even asked for in your past. It will crush you to see your mother, far from everyone, trying to keep dad going. It will break your heart to see him sitting dejectedly in a wheel chair. And then.... then you will feel peace. You will learn about what a loving Heavenly Father you really have. You will see His hand in all things. You will realize that to fully appreciate health you must understand sickness. You will see your dad grow closer to the Lord and never lose his faith, and therefore cause you to never lose your faith. You will make that scripture phrase "thou art not yet as Job" a constant reminder in your life, and in the end you will praise the Lord for His goodness and mercy.
3. You're not going to serve a mission. I know, I know, you think you will. You'll hear mom telling you that dad felt impressed to tell you to serve; you'll fill out those mission papers; you'll take mission prep; you'll tell your family and your closest friends.... and then? And then the Lord will tell you no. And it will be one of the hardest "no's" you'll ever experience. Especially when you are ready! You've been wanting to serve your whole life! It was the last thing on your ten year plan that actually stayed on the plan..... and then that will be taken away. And you'll wonder why. Even these years later, you wonder why not you. But, I can tell you, God has a plan for you, and a mission here in Salt Lake. Remember how you would always joke about serving in Salt Lake South? Well, you will serve there, not as a full time missionary, but as a single girl, trying to help others grow closer to the Lord. And you'll love it. And it will be the best mission you could have asked for.
4. Make the temple a weekly event. Don't wait a year to start going weekly! I wish I had started doing that sooner! Right after you talk with your Bishop about not going on a mission you will decided to attend the temple weekly. 2 and a half years later I can tell you I have no idea how I lived life prior to that decision. I wish I had done that all through college. It would have made life easier - no, not without trials, but easier. You will grow to love the temple and depend on it to make it through the week. You'll help others make the temple a priority by your example. No, that's not a prideful statement, it's just the truth. Others will see you go and will be drawn to go. You will make a difference. But that's not why you'll go. You'll go because you love it. You'll go even when you don't want to go because you know that it's the Lord's house and a refuge against the storm of life. You'll go and find peace, and it will change your life.
5. Speaking of the temple, you'll discover the Lord's timeline for you is much different than the one you had; and it's ok! In fact, it's amazing! He has made the best possible plan for you, and if you could just focus on that and the love He has for you! Guess what? You are going to wish you had gone through the temple sooner! You're going to be grateful He didn't let you marry any of those boys you've dated! You'll see He has a reason for having you live so far from home.
6. Make wise choices when it comes to friends. Yes, right now you're thinking, what? I'm so good at reading people! Of course I'll make good friend choices. Guess what? You actually aren't good at it. You actually are going to be surprised how bad you are at judging someones character. You will have a Mr. Wickham moment.... and you will feel for Mr. Darcy even more. You will discover that sometimes choosing the right means standing alone. But you will also find new friends, ones who uplift and inspire, and encourage. And you will discover a lot about yourself, and you will grow closer to the Lord. You will also discover what it takes to be a friend, and what to look for in others. This will really help in your dating life..... which leads me to....
7. You're not going to marry that boy - thank goodness! I'm not going to put a specific boy here, because there's too many to account for. All the men you fell in love with, all the late night dates, all the crying to your mom and your roommates when it didn't work out... those are actually really great memories! The growth you have had, the morals you've never lost, the men you don't fall for now, the more you've had to learn about the Lord's timing. Those are such great memories! The weird boys, the temple square dates, the random flowers in the mail, the silent dates, the "I lost your number" boy, the 18 year old...s..., and so many more. Those memories are going to make a great book someday. And they have gotten you one step closer to finding that one boy....
8. Find Joy in the Journey. Guess what? Your single days are drawing to a close, and as that happens, you start reminiscing on all the good times you've had in the past however many years. And it's kind of sad! It's weird to think that someday you won't be single - someday you'll be married, with a husband, and children, and you'll have to make sure they have enough food and clothes and the rent is paid, and you have gas for the car.... right now you only have to worry about those things for yourself, and if you want to travel to see a friend in another state you can do that and not worry about a family to take care of along the way. Right now it's all about you, and as desperately as you are trying to get out of the single stage, you are going to miss it. You will miss those late nights with friends, the spontaneous road trips, the slurpee runs, the money splurged on more books, having to only take care of yourself. You're going to miss that! But you'll also be excited to move on. I just don't want you to look forward and see all the single years ahead and think how awful they are - because they aren't! They're filled with fun, growth, pain, joy, lessons, and most importantly, you.
Well, past Cassandra, I don't want to overwhelm you, so I'll stop there. Just know you have become a great person. You have conquered fears, fought hard battles, made great friends, grown closer to your family, and relied more on the Lord. You have come far.
One reason I love commencement so much is because it gives me a minute to remember my own graduation, which is coming up on FOUR years this July! Four years as a college graduate. Where did the time go? How have I been graduated this long? Today really makes me reflect on the past almost four years and what I have completed since then. No need to bore you all with those details - obviously they're exciting and I've accomplished a lot (I mean, come on. It's me). But really, it makes me think. It makes me think about that girl, four years ago, freaking out about graduating, not sure which way to go, or what to do, or when to do it, or who to turn to.... all she knew was that she needed to move to Salt Lake. That's it. She felt so sure of Salt Lake that she moved there a month after graduating, with no job, no house to live in, and no family near by. It was insane. I think a lot about that girl, and all she would go through over the next four years, all allowing me to become... Me. And, as I'm sitting here, thinking about the past almost four years, I feel like I should give some advice to her; to that young, 21 year old, immature, scared girl. I want to give her counsel that would have been helpful to have all those years ago. Reader, I hope you don't think I think I know everything; I certainly don't. These are just things I wish I'd known as a recent college graduate.
1. Trust your Bishop. He's going to become one of your best friends over the next few years, and he will be there for almost all the biggest moments in your life - your melt downs, your heart breaks, you loss, your despair.... your joy, your promotions, your growth, your temple experiences. He will be there and will love you! It's going to be amazing, and you are going to make lifelong friends out of him and his wife. You'll probably have a spot of heaven next to each other in the next life, because he has become such a great mentor to you. But seriously, go to your Bishop! Talk to him! Let him know what's going on in your life! Don't be afraid to ask him for help, counsel, or a blessing.
2. Your dad is sick - he isn't going to get better - in fact, he's going to get worse. That is probably the hardest lesson you will learn. You will watch your parents move, and will see your dad's body break under that stress..... and it will hurt. It will hurt a lot. It will make you cry "why me!?" more times then you've ever done before. It will bring you to your knees, demanding more explanations than you even asked for in your past. It will crush you to see your mother, far from everyone, trying to keep dad going. It will break your heart to see him sitting dejectedly in a wheel chair. And then.... then you will feel peace. You will learn about what a loving Heavenly Father you really have. You will see His hand in all things. You will realize that to fully appreciate health you must understand sickness. You will see your dad grow closer to the Lord and never lose his faith, and therefore cause you to never lose your faith. You will make that scripture phrase "thou art not yet as Job" a constant reminder in your life, and in the end you will praise the Lord for His goodness and mercy.
3. You're not going to serve a mission. I know, I know, you think you will. You'll hear mom telling you that dad felt impressed to tell you to serve; you'll fill out those mission papers; you'll take mission prep; you'll tell your family and your closest friends.... and then? And then the Lord will tell you no. And it will be one of the hardest "no's" you'll ever experience. Especially when you are ready! You've been wanting to serve your whole life! It was the last thing on your ten year plan that actually stayed on the plan..... and then that will be taken away. And you'll wonder why. Even these years later, you wonder why not you. But, I can tell you, God has a plan for you, and a mission here in Salt Lake. Remember how you would always joke about serving in Salt Lake South? Well, you will serve there, not as a full time missionary, but as a single girl, trying to help others grow closer to the Lord. And you'll love it. And it will be the best mission you could have asked for.
4. Make the temple a weekly event. Don't wait a year to start going weekly! I wish I had started doing that sooner! Right after you talk with your Bishop about not going on a mission you will decided to attend the temple weekly. 2 and a half years later I can tell you I have no idea how I lived life prior to that decision. I wish I had done that all through college. It would have made life easier - no, not without trials, but easier. You will grow to love the temple and depend on it to make it through the week. You'll help others make the temple a priority by your example. No, that's not a prideful statement, it's just the truth. Others will see you go and will be drawn to go. You will make a difference. But that's not why you'll go. You'll go because you love it. You'll go even when you don't want to go because you know that it's the Lord's house and a refuge against the storm of life. You'll go and find peace, and it will change your life.
5. Speaking of the temple, you'll discover the Lord's timeline for you is much different than the one you had; and it's ok! In fact, it's amazing! He has made the best possible plan for you, and if you could just focus on that and the love He has for you! Guess what? You are going to wish you had gone through the temple sooner! You're going to be grateful He didn't let you marry any of those boys you've dated! You'll see He has a reason for having you live so far from home.
6. Make wise choices when it comes to friends. Yes, right now you're thinking, what? I'm so good at reading people! Of course I'll make good friend choices. Guess what? You actually aren't good at it. You actually are going to be surprised how bad you are at judging someones character. You will have a Mr. Wickham moment.... and you will feel for Mr. Darcy even more. You will discover that sometimes choosing the right means standing alone. But you will also find new friends, ones who uplift and inspire, and encourage. And you will discover a lot about yourself, and you will grow closer to the Lord. You will also discover what it takes to be a friend, and what to look for in others. This will really help in your dating life..... which leads me to....
7. You're not going to marry that boy - thank goodness! I'm not going to put a specific boy here, because there's too many to account for. All the men you fell in love with, all the late night dates, all the crying to your mom and your roommates when it didn't work out... those are actually really great memories! The growth you have had, the morals you've never lost, the men you don't fall for now, the more you've had to learn about the Lord's timing. Those are such great memories! The weird boys, the temple square dates, the random flowers in the mail, the silent dates, the "I lost your number" boy, the 18 year old...s..., and so many more. Those memories are going to make a great book someday. And they have gotten you one step closer to finding that one boy....
8. Find Joy in the Journey. Guess what? Your single days are drawing to a close, and as that happens, you start reminiscing on all the good times you've had in the past however many years. And it's kind of sad! It's weird to think that someday you won't be single - someday you'll be married, with a husband, and children, and you'll have to make sure they have enough food and clothes and the rent is paid, and you have gas for the car.... right now you only have to worry about those things for yourself, and if you want to travel to see a friend in another state you can do that and not worry about a family to take care of along the way. Right now it's all about you, and as desperately as you are trying to get out of the single stage, you are going to miss it. You will miss those late nights with friends, the spontaneous road trips, the slurpee runs, the money splurged on more books, having to only take care of yourself. You're going to miss that! But you'll also be excited to move on. I just don't want you to look forward and see all the single years ahead and think how awful they are - because they aren't! They're filled with fun, growth, pain, joy, lessons, and most importantly, you.
Well, past Cassandra, I don't want to overwhelm you, so I'll stop there. Just know you have become a great person. You have conquered fears, fought hard battles, made great friends, grown closer to your family, and relied more on the Lord. You have come far.
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