Life is Covered in Imperfections

"Death is conquered, man is free; Christ has won the victory." 

Happy Easter, dear readers. In my life, I have grown to see how free I truly am because of Christ. Because of His Atonement. Because of His love, and His forgiveness, and His constant lifting me when I fall.

I speak often of my lowest of lows; of those dark days I've had, and the torn up heart I have repaired countless times.

I have often shared my experience of being broken; of an abusive past that left me shattered and exposed...

Of the struggle of watching my father slowly lose himself to his sickness....

Of feeling lost and alone.

I've written about my fight with high anxiety.

I've written of being bored, and confused, and hurt, and homesick.

I've written a lot about my trials. My life is riddled with them. It is covered with bad decisions, and too many sins to care to admit. It is full of mean remarks, and bad days; of postponing of promptings, and questioning of friends wise counsel. My life path is covered with crossed out road marks where I decided I knew what was best and ignored the warning signs.

My life is covered in imperfections, tears, stains, and mediocre attempts at being better.

That's me. The imperfect picture of a person who is trying, and yet falling short. So miserably short. How often I have looked at my life and wondered how I could be so blessed with everything I have when I fall so short of the mark.

And yet...

Gosh, that "yet" ... I seem to write a lot involving that "yet" lately. It has brought so much comfort into my life all these years.

And YET,

Even with my mess of a life....*sigh*.... Even with my many flaws, and my bad decisions, and my questioning of promptings, the Lord has never abandoned me. He atoned for my sins before I even had a chance to commit them. Why would anyone do that for me? Why would anyone selflessly atone for me, the most imperfect of human beings, so that I could not only become clean again, but return to live with my loving Heavenly Father and become just like Him? Who would do that?

Only a selfless, perfect being, who is full of pure love and compassion would do that. My Savior, Jesus Christ, has atoned for me; for each of us. He has conquered death! He has created a way to allow us to progress forever! He has loved me, even when I could not find it in my heart to love myself. He has washed me clean from the bands that held me captive. He has provided hope and peace in moments of complete despair. He has forgiven me of my countless sins, as I drag myself to Him, time and time again, begging for another chance.

And so, with this Easter, as I am reminded of all my imperfections, and all the life decisions I have struggled to make, I joyfully write that Christ is risen! He is alive and He loves each of us! He has atoned for our sins, and taken away the sting of death. He has carried me through the muck of life, and happily provided a way back to Heavenly Father. He can heal the sick, and bring comfort to a frenzied heart. He hears our prayers and lovingly gives direction. He has never given up on me. He truly is the Prince of Peace.