Because I Said Yes

I have known I was going to write this blog for months, but I haven’t known how I was going to write it. I knew the change was going to be too big to write in words all that I wanted to convey. To actually write it means the show is finished, and I’m now reflecting back on the change, and accepting this new person I’ve become; accepting that the people who have changed my life will not be on me daily, encouraging me to be my best self; accepting that all the “things” I’ve put aside for the past few months will now have to be accomplished. That’s what this blog post means, and I’m not sure if I can convey all of that in one post…….. but I will try.

For four months my stake has been working tirelessly to put together the Broadway production of “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.” I had never even heard the music when they announced it, but by basically listening to it non-stop for a month while trying to memorize the music, I can now sing the entire musical to you – down to the all the colors. I know. I’m impressed too.

Throughout this entire adventure, I have had the amazing opportunity to meet so many amazing people, and watch the sacrifice they made to volunteer to build sets, direct the show, write the choreography, teach us to sing the music, create our costumes, and most importantly, bring us closer together as a stake, and therefore closer to Christ.

We started simple - here's the first piece of music, and let's work on singing it together. Boom; we're amazing. We met weekly, a few nights a week, for a few hours at a time. We did just music for about a month, and by the end of that month I felt pretty confident in our skills. We sounded great, and we were close to having it memorized! That's when we added choreography. 

Now, this wasn't your kindergarten choreography class we have going on; no. We had professional dancers/choreographers directing us. We had real life dances, which consisted of us having to work hard to learn, and practice, practice, practice. I've never been good at dancing, and I was terrified about this part of the musical, especially when they said they would be teaching us the easy part, and then I would struggle trying to remember it as well as actually do it. We moved from one of our church buildings to our stake center, and added the dimensions of the stage to the cultural hall floor in colorful tape. That was fun! "Stay on the stage!" was shouted countless times, as we were walking on the floor, passing the tape which marked the end of the stage. 

We started with a stage.... well, a cultural hall floor, actually. We progressed to having a few pieces of the set. 

Choreography was taught and written down for us to practice during rehearsals and in small groups. That was weeks of working together, trying to figure out how we could all be unified in our movements. 

Soon, costume pieces and painted sets started appearing, from our wonderful stage crew. The children also started rehearsing with us, which was probably some of the most fun parts of the play! The children were adorable, and so fun to have with us! 

 Our favorite - Canaan Days!

Basically, the Brother's stole the show.

Our fearless costume crew. My goodness, the hundreds of hours they and the other of the costume crew put into this production was shown when we hit the stage with our numerous costumes. They are the real stars.

On our last night practicing in the stake center, we spent a little extra time after rehearsal peeling off all the tape from the floor, which had marked the sets and the stage for us for weeks! It was such a bittersweet moment, to leave behind where we had all grown accustomed to practicing, to go to a better place - the actual stage! 

Our first night on our stage!

The week of our performance, they fed us dinner, to prepare us for the long rehearsals and the hard work that lay ahead of us. I adore everyone in this picture. I just love these people so much! 

Our costumes started coming together - look at my fellow Peaches! I love them!! 

We took over the music room and made it the woman's changing room.

My favorite costume, our "Joseph's Dreams" dance costume! I loved getting to dance this, even thought I was terrified my partner would drop me every time (thank you, Joel, for not dropping me!).

Getting ready to head over to Potiphar's.....

And finally, a shot of the entire Joseph family; my new family.  Can you find me?! 

As I mentioned, we started with a single number from the musical. As we learned little things here and there, they added more and more music on, until finally we had the entire show ready to sing. It was about that time that the Stake Presidency, those wonderful men who are directed by the Lord, asked us to sing at Stake Conference. So, we not only added on choreography rehearsals, as well as finalizing the memorization of the music, but we had to practice another piece, separate from the show. Easy. Who needs sleep anyway? But, here in lies the wisdom of the Lord. He knew what we needed. He knew how hard the choreography was going to be. He knew we would have days of doubt and frustration with each other, and He knew that in order for this production to produce what it needed to, we needed to be unified. We prepared a piece - a powerful version of "Joseph Smith's First Prayer" and sang together at Stake Conference..... and everything changed. After conference ended, we all went to the cultural hall to get dessert and talked and laughed and hugged, and basically became friends. It was the weirdest thing, but after that performance, our group became one. We were no longer just a room full of strangers who happened to be in the same stake, but a family. And what was so powerful was how everyone saw it. It just clicked. That was the point of the show! To unify us as a family! As our directors and the Stake Presidency bore testimony of that, the whole feeling of the show changed.

Our motto became "It's not about the show." It was about changing our lives; becoming friends; drawing closer to Christ; sharing our testimonies with others. I've performed in hundreds of concerts - I played the trumpet for 10 years, was in the top ten in the state my last two years of high school, won countless awards, was in a state champion winning marching band, was first chair in college, and have performed with amazing musicians. I've done it all. When I graduated from high school I knew I wanted to keep playing, but I didn't want to major in music; it was no longer fun. It was exhausting, always trying to be the best, working extra hard to prove I really was supposed to be first chair, and that I wasn't a phony. Attending BYU-Idaho meant that rehearsals began with a prayer, and that spiritual thoughts and connections with the music were a daily thing. I loved that. It completely changed my view of performing. Up to that point I performed to show how good I was. In college, we were reminded that the music didn't matter; what mattered was the testimony that was shared as we performed. This was further testified to me when I joined Institute Choir here in Salt Lake. We were there to testify of Christ; not to brag about our skills. And that made the experience so much more enjoyable. 

That is what happened to us. We changed our perspectives. The show wasn't about the show! It was about us, growing closer to Christ! It was about the friendships that were formed; the opportunities that were presented to each of us; the testimonies that were strengthened! It was about the courage and strength and the confidence we gained, as we grew to depend on Christ and each other to be our best. 

To be our best. 

I love this quote; I just heard it for the first time this past week at a work conference I was at, and it is exactly how the show made me feel:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson

This is what the show did. As we performed to "sold out" shows each night this weekend, we let our light shine. Everyone commented on how much fun we seemed to be having! Oh, yes, they commented on the amazing dancing, and singing, and sets, and costumes, etc., but they all could not get over how fun it was! How much love we had for each other, and how that just radiated off the stage and into the audience. 

On our last night, right before we went out to perform, as we were all crying and listening to the wonderful testimonies of our directors, President Featherstone, our fearless Stake President, bore one final testimony to us. He reminded us that because we (I) said yes to being in the play all those months ago, our lives would be forever changed. He reminded us that God is aware of us, and that even in our hardest trials, God knows what He's doing, and that He will provide. 

I have so many more thoughts I could write, and I probably will, later, but right now, that is what I want to share. I want to remind you how glorious life is when you put the Lord first; when you let go of your ego, and your wants, to do what the Lord needs you to humbly do. He turned me into a dancer, and gave me almost a hundred new friends. He can change you, too. You just have to choose. Choose to say yes!